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180 James Sreet South, Suite 402
Hamilton, ON, L8P 4V1
Canada

A resource for home buyers and sellers to learn about the process without BS or fluff.

Recent Thoughts

When did we all become so fucking scared?

Thomas Brown

    I debated with myself for almost a week before writing this.  I was so worried about what others might think of my use of the “f-word”.  Honestly, I swear pretty consistently throughout my day (face it, most of you do too) because I’m used to it from years working on construction sites.  Thats not exactly the issue I’m considering here.  My issue with writing this article is the unfounded fear of criticism.

    We all know people will say mean shit about us either way.  You can be the most giving person with an unwavering commitment to your community and someone will say you're foolish for not taking care of yourself.  Or maybe you’ll see someone drive by in a Bentley and think they’re an asshole and probably stole money to get rich.  Or maybe you encounter a terrible driver and speculate how lost they must be in their life. All these criticisms, I think, stem from deeply rooted insecurities we all have about ourselves.

    Growing up in Richmond Hill, I always got to see fancy cars and nice houses pretty much anywhere I went. I wasn’t exactly happy with my accomplishments and assumed these other “successful” people were happy.  Naturally, that made me desire these things because I learned to attach self-worth to them.  As I pursued this validation from means outside myself, I felt like I was in quicksand.  I would exert all kinds of effort to get ahead and show off my “success”, but I would inevitably just sink further and further away from the true happiness I desired.  

    As happiness became more elusive, the fear started to set in.  We all get this fear.  We’re scared to say or do the wrong thing, so we begin to do nothing.  We know that avoidance doesn't solve anything, but it does limit the sting of potentially making the wrong move.  Continue this fear/avoidance cycle long enough and you become a shell of your real self.

    How much better off would we be if we just said “Fuck it, this is who I am” a little more often? How much talent has been stifled by this self criticism?  Stop and think for a second about what will honestly happen if someone insults you or your work. Sure it sucks, but you’ll live and ultimately end up happier by truly being yourself. Stop giving a shit so much and stop being so fucking scared.